Paws for Effect



From all the games we played with Stacy, she was exhausted. Anytime I sat down, she’d come and jump on my laps and close her eyes. I doubt she was sleeping, maybe just enjoying the moment. Stacy and I have come a long way in those three days, from murderous thoughts to loving ones, but we both know what happens when Stacy’s owner ‘She’ returns (for your sake and her anonymity, let’s call her S). I hope Stacy refuses to leave. She must stay with me. How can I live without you Stacy? All’s not lost though, we’re currently devising a plan of how she is going to ruin S’s house; peeing everywhere, breaking everything and tearing down paper. If you’re thinking “But he can’t speak cat!” you’re right, but we’ve been watching ‘The Secret life of Pets’ just to get the idea in her little adorable head. If the plan goes through… scratch that, when the plan goes through, Stacy should be back in my house within no time.

Too hot for you

I put pilipili in everything, meat, beans, githeri, everything. Yesterday, I cooked one of my favorite foods, rice and beans. Now if you’re a lady reading this, you’re probably thinking of how much of a typical guy I am who can only boil water and cook RnB. But I’d kindly ask you to postpone any judgment until you’ve tasted it-my rice and beans that is. Your life will never be the same again. My food has the ability to arouse taste buds you didn’t even think existed. You’ll fall in love immediately. I dare you, try me!

Back to Stacy and I.

I cooked my rice to perfection, whiter than milk, tastier than most and Stacy tasted and loved it. When it came to beans, I cooked as usual and put a couple of pepper sticks, I had forgotten of the new found love of my life.

Stacy, just like any woman, is very intuitive. She didn’t eat any of the beans. But I just couldn’t let her starve, so, I mixed the rice with some bean soup, Stacy had a few bites then all hell broke loose, she started walking around funny, jumping around and meowing with a new high soprano. It was like she had taken a concoction of sugar high, second generation liquor.

I had to do something, the love of my life was losing it. What if she hated me? What if she’d never want to see me again? What if she got eye impairment or something? I had to do something, and I had to do it fast.

I immediately dashed to the kitchen and boiled some milk for her, stat! I then blew it to a cool cat friendly warmness. She gobbled it like there was no tomorrow. She looked much more relieved, you could tell, she was back to her playful yet composed self.

Stacy, for what it’s worth, I’m sorry.

Working in.

The holidays are over, at least for me and I’m back to work. Luckily, today I have the luxury of working from home. I get to spend the whole day with Stacy and she gets to see how I put meals on the table-or on the ground in this case.

Does S ever work from in the house? Does S spend this much time with Stacy? Hell no!

Though to be fare S runs a small diner and can’t have a cat roaming around. Which in my opinion is the more reason to give Stacy over to me.

Turns out Stacy is not a huge fan of me working. She must’ve thought it would be sock ball and chase the beam all over again.

She’s been creeping up in front of the laptop the whole day and every chance she got, she’d pounce on my pinky finger with her adorable little paws.

She did eventually get the idea I wasn’t playing much and she took a nap on my feet.

She’s Fetish

We have this hi-five hi-paw thingy, we do it every five seconds. We’re still trying to come up with a shorter name for it besides hi-five hi-paw thing, so far we have a few suggestions but meow, meow and meow are top of the list.

One thing I’m slightly concerned about is Stacy’s obsession with my feet. She jumps at them at slightest of chances, scratch them in a cute way and occasionally, ‘wash’ them. This reminds me of Mort in King Julian. He can never get enough of the king’s feet. Does this make me King Julian? I do like to ‘move it’

Come to think about it, I might be fetish as well, a minute can’t go by without me petting her adorable fur.

Fetish is the new black.

Stacy vibrates

I don’t know how I hadn’t noticed this, Stacy totally vibrates. I was at first scared when she started vibrating, she was either getting ready to speak human or bite on of my fingers off.

Upon consulting Dr. Google, She said it was well within a cat’s nature to vibrate when it’s excited.

If humans could vibrate, I’d be the first.


To pick a line from 2015’s Pan, “Sometimes, friends begin as enemies. And sometimes, enemies begin as friends…”

And I’m sure glad to have met you Stacy.

Our days may be numbered, but we are going to make the best out of them.

We are going to have the furriest, fluffiest, cutest time together.

I’d end with ‘I love you Stacy’ but I don’t want to give anyone reason to throw me to the loony bin.


2 Replies to “Paws for Effect”

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